Into the mind i have dived.
Into the mind of a woman ( im a guy by the way) that is going through a brake up... I have reflected her inner fealings , here thoughts and fears.
I have split it into a four page diary entry in cronological order as the event unfold.
Tell me what you think.


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Page 1
Its over!
Ten years of not really knowing you.
Never thought it would end, thought this time it would be forever.
But we just fell out of love, lost all feeling, became bitter.
You turned into something i dont even recognise, your so bitter to me so cold.
Dont know how this happend how we grew so far apart.
How do two ppl fall out of love how can we create two lovely creatures a part of us a part of me a part of you,
and how we've done what we said we'd never would... Hurt them, tear their world apart, Destroy their family,
will they ever forgive us, its one thing ill always wonder.

Page 2
Finding it so hard to figure you out, what you really are.
Your so complicated, I still believe or maybe even hope, that you're not what you show me, what you show ppl.
Are you really so cold, so uncarring, selfish, cruel.
I cant fit it in my head. Are you just looking for love? Someone to love and give you what you need?
Your so lacking of love that you just dont know how to cope with out.
You lie, you hurt all the ppl around you, including your own kids!
How can you?
How bitter are you? from all that you've been through in your life?

page 3
Softly, gently you were holding me.
Stroking my back, my side.
I felt so snug, so loved, so wantted.
But cant relax even after all the alcohol, what is it with me...
Passion followed, Lots of it, but it just kept going through my head, is this for real? are all the feelings there?
It ends...
I wish it could last forever.
I savour every moment with you.
Dont want it to ever end...
That was good thats all you said, all you had to say.
Then you just held me in your arms and drifted off.
I couldnt sleep, was so tired yet couldnt, kept wandering whether it was real.
All you said all did WHY? I wish I had the answers, I wish I understood, comprehended all that has happened.

Page 4
You asked me if i loved you and i choked on my reply, id rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie.
And who am i to judge you, on what you say and do, im only just beggining to see the real you.
Sometimes when we touch the honestes too much and i have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you till i die, till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the tears in me subside, when times and all the strategies leave me batteling with my pride
and through the insecurities the tenderness survives, im just another rider still traped within my youth
a hesitant prize fighter still trapped within the bruth...